Sharon Moms Topic: Losing Interest In Guitar Lessons
When is stopping the lessons OK?
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Moms Talk is a new feature on Sharon Patch that is part of a new initiative on our Patch sites to reach out to moms and families.
Sharon Patch invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families right here in Sharon Patch.
Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions.
Moms, dads, grandparents and the diverse families who make up our community will have a new resource for questions about local neighborhood schools, the best pediatricians, 24-hour pharmacies and the thousands of other issues that arise while raising children.
Moms Talk will also be the place to drop in for a talk about the latest parenting hot topic. Where can we get information on local flu shot clinics for children? How can we help our children's schools weather their budget cutbacks?
So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation today with a question from Sharon Patch Moms Council member Abigail Marsters:
My 11-year old son begged me to buy him a guitar for his birthday and provide him with lessons. He enjoys the lessons, but needs constant reminders to practice, and he seems to be losing interest. At what point do I make a decision to stop lessons?
Abigail says:
The question is why is he losing interest? Is he bored with the teacher, the music, the schedule? Is this a pattern in other activities as well?
Sometimes teachers teach differently or they teach different material. A friend of mine moved her son from classical piano to jazz piano and it made all the difference in the world.
Ask your child why he wanted the guitar and what he wants to do with it. Tell him this was an investment on both your parts and should continue to be, but only if it meets his plan and he agrees to it. Eleven years old is old enough to be a partner in the plan and to understand the idea of investment.
Mom's Council member Dianne Needle says:
Personally, I think music lessons are one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.
If your son enjoys the lessons, then don't stop the lessons. I think it is important to have kids follow through on what they started. So, for example, if you agree together that he will get a guitar and lessons, then you both need to agree on how long the lessons will initially last and make sure he sticks to that. At the end of that time period, you both can evaluate whether he wants to continue.
And as far as reminding him to practice- sadly, that is likely going to be the case, but
that doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't enjoy it. Here are some other suggestions for making your life easier when it comes to your child’s need to practice:
Set expectations: For example, you need to practice all of your required songs each day (except on lesson day). Whether that takes five minutes or 15 minutes, it’s the quality of the time that’s more important. Once you give your child that freedom to self-monitor and put it in his control, sometimes it works better.
Remind him that he has to practice. If after school, he is sitting relaxing, playing games, etc, just a quick reminder that he has to practice before dinner at 6 p.m. He may say, ok just five more minutes, or I will, etc. Kids need a little prodding. It's ok.
Make sure that he is connected with his teacher and it's a good fit. That is important. Your child should be able to love two things: 1) His teacher and 2) playing the instrument. If one is lacking, it will be a struggle, and usually one becomes dependent on the other. If there is a disconnect, look for another teacher or music school.
Moms Council member Susan Cetlin says:
My son has been taking violin lessons since he was 3 and now is 12. So, my husband and I have a lot of experience.
We still have to remind him daily to practice. We weren’t as consistent with my older daughter and left it up to her and her teachers. The outcome was that she didn’t make as much progress and lost interest, even though she loved her lessons and teachers.
On the other hand, our son has become very proficient at the violin and derives much enjoyment from his mastery. That’s not to say, he would rather text message his friends, watch TV, play a video game, or have a second helping of dessert to delay his practicing.
Though never fun, parents' friendly nudging and limit setting seem to be par for the course if you want to expose your children to the joys of music education.
Liz Leehey
8:27 pm on Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Yes, Parents do need to remind their children to practice. Please see my article "Creating an optimal practice environment for your child" at
http://www.elizabethleehey.com/creatinganoptimalpracticeenvironment.pdf for helpful tips.
Elizabeth Leehey, clarinet teacher.
susan melaugh
11:25 pm on Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Susan Melaugh, Piano Teacher. Great suggestions! I agree that first and foremost the student needs to enjoy their lessons. Perhaps a phone chat with the teacher can shed some light on any changes the parent is noticing... Working through some 'rough patches' in learning anything can translate into developing good study skills for any subject or endeavor. As a child progresses, the music does get more challenging - it helps to take a moment every now and then and see how much has been accomplished since the beginning. In terms of practicing, even the most motivated student needs gentle reminders; parents generally have the 'big picture' of the child's afternoon and evening activities/comittments and can point out that 'this is a good time to practice since we'll be meeting grandma for dinner and it will be too late when we get home'. I usually suggest that students try to find a regular time that they are generally free to practice (between setting the table and sitting down to dinner for example) and to make it as habitual as possible. That being said, family schedules are often too hectic and erratic for that kind of regularity. One more point that was addressed above and I would like make a comment upon- regarding not practicing on the day of the lesson- I tell my students that one of the most important practice times is the same day AFTER their lesson when everything we have worked on and talked about is fresh in their minds.
Robert
7:36 pm on Thursday, March 10, 2011
It is important to let the students, regardless of their age, choose the majority of their repertoire. They must enjoy listening to music and have favorite songs, bands and artists. Students have no problem learning and progressing when they guide part of the study/repertoire.
As a guitar teacher for over twenty years, I have mentored hundreds of students. I only accept students who are interested in music. If it takes a parent to push a student to practice, that's a job for another teacher. BTW, my students - on the enjoyment of lessons point - never practice. They play.
I teach all styles of guitar, mainly rock guitar. I reserve the reading musical notation part of lessons for much later, after they've actually learned how to play. Then, we go back and study reading.
Again, this is guitar.
I think it's pathetic the way some teachers rely on boring texts from yesteryear (ie. Mel Bay) and discourage students from wanting to play using these very boring curriculums.
It's also sad that my nieces - who play classical in the regional youth symphony - know nothing about improvising, theory, song writing, melody, etc They are excellent at parroting Vivaldi from a sheet of paper. Which, to me, is one-dimensional.
Yes, you must nudge the little ones to practice and play. But, that should stop somewhere around the age of ten. If they are not driven and passionate by that point, what is the reason for forcing little ones to do something they are averse to?
Bethany Tammaro Condon
1:34 am on Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Bethany Tammaro Condon - Voice teacher - daily practicing is a challenge for most - even adult students! I always suggest to my students to tell yourself you will only practice for a couple of minutes and you will be amazed at how quickly 2 or 3 minutes flies by so you want to do more. Also practice at an optimal time of the day such as before going to school or work - it's better than at the end of the day when you're more tired. Life will always get in the way - make practicing a top priority. You will notice an improvement in your technique, tone, muscle coordination. Another helpful tip is set goals for yourself - solo at church, temple, upcoming talent show, theater audition, solo recital - these are all excellent goals to work towards and makes practicing easier which makes you want to practice more. Nothing makes me practice more consistently than an upcoming audition with an opera company or a competition. It takes a great deal of self discipline to make yourself practice every day but you will get hooked as you start to hear an improvement in your technique. It takes time for the brain to get used to daily practicing. With any new voice student, I'll suggest to start out practicing one day a week and add on an extra day of practice every week. It has worked time after time.